Destruction – A Poem

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On spelling and prinounsiashin in the Inglish Langwidj.

Inglish is a strainj langwidj. So meny werds ar spelt diffrintlee to tha way thay’r prinounsd, that foriners fynd it a veri difficilt langwidj to lern.

So I thort I’d try spelling things just tha way thay’r prinounsd, and see if it maiks it eni eezier.

I was standing in tha kiew at home affehrs yestiday with my familee, and wee were having a hilehrious tyim trying to spell diffrint werds just tha way thay’r prinounsd. Classic!

Taik for eggzaampill tha werd ‘thorough’ witsh of cors shooud bee spelt ‘thurra’, and then yoo hav ‘through’ – witsh the remoovil of wun letta suddinlee chainjis from wot shooud be ‘thrra’, to ‘throo’. ‘Rough’ shooud reed ‘ruff’. Very confioosing. No wunda tha poowa foriners fynd it difficilt!

I think sumwun shooud maik a dicshinerry of dyrect spelling. It wooud bee veri yousfill.

My wyf sez it’s becauz wee’ve becum laizy abowt tha way wee prinouns things, and that hundrids of yeers ago meni werds were probiblee prinounsd diffrintlee – more lyk thay were spelt. I don’t no for shewa, but I think shee’s ryt. I no in Scots ‘nyt’ is prinounsd ‘nicht’, so that proovs it.

Not meni peepl can spell thees days eniway (just reed the comments on eni YouTube video if you don’t believ mee), so I don’t sipose it woud maik mutsh difrins to eniwun, but it wooud hav tha advahntij that it woud maik spelling tests much eezier to pahs (or wooud it?). The skool kids wooud hav mee to thank! 🙂

It wooud bee a bit trickee sumtyms tho. Look at a werd lyk ‘air’, witsh wee Sowth Africans prinouns sumthing laik ‘eh’ wheras the tru Brit woud prinouns it ‘eiah’ and the American ‘eirrr’. So convenshin wooud bee difficilt in sum caises.

Isn’t it weird, that beird is spelt ‘beard’? And nowz, ‘nose’? Witsh maiks mee think ‘now’ shoud be spelt ‘naow’, and ‘how’, haow’.

Well, I cooud go on and on… But I think I’ve maid my point.

Inglish is weird!! 🙂

My Blog – What’s it all about?

So. I’ve decided to start a blog… I don’t really know why. I’ve been thinking about it lately, about the things that I think about, and that I’d like to share with anyone who cares to know them. If anyone does. If no-one does, then at least I get to write them down and in so doing ‘gel’ them in my own mind, for my own sake, if no-one else’s.

But I hope that some of my thoughts might strike a chord of agreement in someone else’s mind, something that says “Yes, I’ve always thought that myself. At least I’m not alone.” If so, maybe that someone will drop me a comment – so that I know I’m not alone. Or maybe you don’t agree, maybe you think I’m writing absolute worthless hogwash. That’s ok too, as long as you’re not nasty about it. Let me know your thoughts, maybe it’ll get me thinking along other lines. I’d like to learn and grow through this…

It’s also an opportunity for me to practice writing – something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while, but lacked the, I don’t know what – courage, motivation, self-confidence – whatever, to actually get started. Of course, being a beaver (high C), I’m scared stiff of not getting my grammar and punctuation one hundred percent (100%?) correct. The thought that you’re going to read what I’ve written and think “Hah – he should’ve used a semi-colon here, not a comma” or “why does he use so many dashes?” gives me the willies. Oh yes, another thing – smileys. 🙂 I really like using smileys when I write. My emails to customers or suppliers are full of smiley faces, sad faces, or :-/ (wry) faces. Not good practice when writing stories, but maybe for a blog it’s ok? I just find that they help me express the way I’m feeling, quickly and easily.

Now that I’ve got started with this, I don’t seem to be able to stop. So much I want to say!

The fact that I’m writing this at all is largely thanks to dorothymaydekok, who got me reading her blog, and thinking about writing my own. Dorothy is a Christian author and editor who’s work I really enjoy – and know you will too. So go and check out her blog, if you haven’t already done so, and look up her published works on kindle etc.

I’m a Christian – have been for most of my life. And that colours my world view, everything I think and feel and believe. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that He took my place, and died as the perfect sacrifice for my sins, so that I don’t have to. I believe that when I opened the door of my heart to Him, he came in, through His Holy Spirit, and lives in and through me. And I have a relationship with Him. I talk to Him every day. And he speaks to me, through His Word (the Bible), through prayer, through other believers, through circumstances, and in so many ways… I believe that that’s what a Christian is… Not someone who goes to church, or follows a set of rituals, but someone who has a living relationship with God through faith. Now you know. So I might ‘preach’ a bit, here and there, but that’s not what this is about really, more just about my thoughts (as I’ve said before), ideas and philosophies. Not deep stuff, just me.

I think that’s enough for now… Hope to hear from you. God bless. 🙂